…and I’ve been feeling pretty masochistic/subby lately. It’s a depression thing. On the one hand, I’m incredibly angry and rather agressive regarding the bullshit polotics going on in the USA. On the other, I am so fucking depressed about the same damn topic. In conjunction with each other, I end up emotionally wrung out and apathetic about all the smaller, personal things I should be taking care of: from my writing to house chores to eating properly and keeping on top of my doctor’s appointments.
I could really use a flogging to take my mind off all of it for a while and help me de-stress, but I don’t actually have the slightest idea how to go about arranging that these days. The people I would normally ask are dealing with their own stuff, and I’m pretty much craptastic at reaching out to new people — plus, I think I’m sensibly leery of aproaching someone new on this subject in particular.
Bleeeeeeh! I wish I had better ways to relieve stress, but this is still the top one for me. I don’t engage in self-flagellation because I know I can’t reliably tell when I’m crossing the line between masochism and sadism; when it goes from de-stressing to punishing, so having someone else who can and will take a moment to check that I’m okay — or even say ‘that’s enough’ is a safety thing. But still: I could <em>really</em> use it right about now.
Also, the weather here is drunk and I think I have a migraine coming on. :/