When will this stop?!

The hits just keep on coming.  Fortunately, for a given value of luck, I wasn’t hit so hard this time.  Sort of.  My insurance hit me with a bill for a bit over eight hundred dollars for the MRI I had.  This came completely out of left field, as I had asked when I made my payment at their office if there would be any further payments due.  I asked twice, because I also asked if I would need to setup a payment plan for anything the insurance didn’t cover.  I was assured that they had called my insurance providers and verified that I wouldn’t owe anything more.  Then, a little over a month later: I get that bill in the mail, with ‘past due’ stamped on it in big red letters at the bottom.

Aparently, the person at the front desk of the MRI place was supposed to tell me that what I paid that day was going toward an estimate, and that the proceedure would go toward my deductible, if my deductible hadn’t been met, and I would be liable for whatever that difference was.  This was not what I was told, so I went merrily on my way.

Anyway, after calling the MRI place, the insurance company, the MRI place again, the insurance company again, the MRI place a couple more times and the doctor’s office that scheduled the MRI to begin with, I’ve at least gotten the bill dropped from the 800+ they threw at me to 200, on a 50$/month payment plan.  I guess it’s a good thing I’m starting posting again, because if I can start my Patreon up again next month (and I haven’t lost too many donors with my long absense) that might just manage to cover this new monthly expense.

Now, while that was going on I had been taken off of the medication I was given for my tumor.  The reason being that it was leaving me to exhausted to work, and if I couldn’t work I’d lose my insurance and be screwed anyway.  And when I asked my doctor what my options were, if there were any others that were viable, he told me to discontinue the current medication (which I would’ve been doubling, if I’d stayed on it) and talk to a specialist.  Because of the unexpected insurance bill, I haven’t scheduled that appointment because, frankly, I haven’t known if I’d be able to afford it.  So, talking to a specialist and finding out if I have any workable options is my next step, now.

Unfortunately, while I was dealing with the insurance and wasn’t on my original med for the tumor, the original med worked its way out of my system and the tumor started producing it’s hormone and inhibiting my testosterone levels again, so I’m back to getting wiped out by any and all physical activity.  Stairs are particularly brutal: last weekend, after having to go up and down the stairs to my apartment about four times over the course of the day, I crashed and slept for twelve hours.  And that’s just one flight of stairs!  Fortunately, my workplace has an elevator and the stairs out front are only a half-flight.

But, that brings me to the cubicle job…  where, on Wednesday, there was a mass layoff.  I’m still employed, but I don’t mind admiting I’m seriously freaked out.  If I had been laid off, I would be in huge trouble.  And as it is, there’s only two of us left in this massive, silent office.  It is surreal, and I can’t help but wonder about just how secure my job actually is any more.

On the other hand, I am posting again.  And writing, a little.  Some every other day, roughly.  I’ve been meaning to write as soon as I get home, but instead I end up collapsing for a while because of those freaking stairs.  :/  I’m pretty worried about what happens if I get put on a medication that makes me tired even if I’m not doing any physical activity — I can’t carpool anymore, and when I was on the original med I wasn’t exactly safe to be behind the wheel.

I guess, if it comes to that, I’ll have to rely on Arr driving me in before he goes to work and picking me up after.  That’ll probably mean spending some extra time at the cubicle office before and after work, but maybe I can turn that into writing time.  Or, more likely: I’ll extend my work hours so that I can take additional fifteen minute breaks to sleep every couple of hours.

Bleeeegh.  It’s exhausting to think about.  All I’m really sure about right now is that I’ve missed writing, and it’s depressing when I’m not able to get any done because I’m too worn out or side-effect exhausted to think.  There was one point when I was on the sleepy-med where I found myself debating stopping treatment just because a life where all I could do was work the cubicle job and sleep just wasn’t worth living.

If it turns out that the original med is my only really viable option, and I have to double the dosage like my doctor was about to have me do last time, I don’t know what I’ll end up doing.  I mean, I’ll take the treatment: there are too many people relying on me and my income for me to be selfish and shorten my life expectantly just to boost the quality.  But fuck me: I’m going to have to find a way to write, too.

Anyway, thanks for listening.  I’ll try to keep the ocasional update posted here.

Take care,

–Eren

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