…it is a terrible idea. At least for me. I signed up for the free trial month about a month ago and, well, I’ve been going through about a book every twenty four hours.
So, why is this bad? Well, for me reading is very much an addictive behaviour. I have serious self control issues when it comes to pursuing a new book, and a tendency to binge-read as much of the story as possible. In the event of a multi book series, this becomes a serious time management problem.
Right now I feel exhausted — and it’s entirely my fault because after my date night I crawled into bed, popped open my kindle app, finished a book, dug around until I found the sequel series, and read the first chapter of that. I really have no idea how late I was up — at least around midnight, I think.
It’s weird to think of books as a drug, but as one internet meme said: what else do you call something that causes people to sit still for hours, having vivid hallucinations? In any case, for me it is definitely an addiction, and becoming a problem.
I don’t do well when I don’t get enough sleep, becoming snappish and prone to negativity. I don’t think that’s set in yet, but I know it’s on the horizon. I also feel like I’ve been neglecting things — mostly because I have — in my pursuit of escapism (which is how this addiction started to begin with, back in my bad depression years). That’s not cool: there’s tons to do around the apartment, and it does really bother me that I haven’t been able to rebuild my buffer for Midnight Moonlight.
It was bad enough that this morning I tried to uninstall Kindle from my tablet. Unfortunately, it’s a system app since it shipped with the device, and that means I wasn’t able to remove it. :/ Next best thing, I guess, is to remove all the downloaded books from this device.
It really frustrates me: I’m in a good emotional place with my transition. I don’t need that kind of hardcore escapism — it’s actually detrimental to my emotional well being, because then I feel bad (frustrated, guilty, etc) about all the stuff that I could be doing that I want to do — but that I’m not because omg book where did the time go?
Anyway, that’s what’s been going on in my head this morning. Maybe someday I’ll have the self control to pick up a book knowing I’ll only read a chapter a night. For now? I think I really need to just put the kindle down.