A long vacation…

…and not really in a good way.  I’m not sure what all to say about it.  I’m not really pulling my weight with the driving, but I’ve already gotten eyestrain and a migraine from how bright it was while I was driving.

Worse, things are a bit touchy with my grandma-in-law.  She really shouldn’t be driving, and we’re not letting her, and she’s not taking it well.  Which I can understand, but still: It wouldn’t be responsible to let her have those keys, and she needs to get that through her head or its going to end badly.

My wife tried to have that talk with her once already this trip, and g-ma has been rather passive aggressive toward her since then.

Overall?  Well, at least I got some writing done.  Although I’m still not entirely sure I’m satisfied with how these recent chapters are turning out.  I guess I’ll just have to hope I have WiFi again and can look over the comments for the next chapter oftomorrow evening.

Oh, and as a minor (in comparison) annoyance: grandma continues to misgender me and use my given rather than my chosen name.  Which I’m pretty good about not getting upset with people over, but this morning when I reminded her of the female name I’ve chosen, she just laughed and told me: “Oh, you’ll always be (my given, male, name here) to me.”

Which is amazingly disheartening.  I mean, how am I  ven supposed to respond to that?  ‘Oh, that’s too bad because the person associated with that name isn’t me and never was, but rather was a fiction I put together so I wouldn’t be stuffed into an institute for being so fucked up?’  (Seriously, I used to do shit because as far as I could figure — and I spent hours trying to figure it out — it was what boys were supposed to do.  And I used to beat myself up for thinking about things that boys ‘weren’t allowed’ to spend time thinking about.) Or maybe: ‘but grandma, that name is associated with the shittiest parts of my life, and I’d really like to think I can leave them behind and move on — but that’s awfully hard when people insist on saying that’s who I am and who I’ll always be.’?

Anyway, sorry for the ranting.  I’m going to try to sleep off this headache now.  Goodnight, and take care everyone.

— Eren

Today, in the life of Eren...

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